Chapter 1
In the age of beginning
I was born next to God of God
I smiled with hope, with existance, with happiness
My name was hope, my name was giving
I smiled upon everything, my name
was love-for-all
God smiled on me. He looked upon his world
and saw, I could touch the people, hope could
touch the people. And so I,
love-for-all, was made to be alive,
to touch the people, to give myself to the world.
Not to preach, not to die, but to give
that was my purpose.
Into a family I went, a nice family.
My family smiled upon me.
My name was no longer hope, my name for this world was Mark.
I smiled at the world. me smiled at the world.
The sun smiled upon me as I ran thorough
the forest of childhood.
I was still only an idea.
God had smiled on me. God was still with me.
I went to school to learn.
There I met people who did not feel
like I did
People who did not give. People that took
that lived to hurt other people, people that consumed,
that destroyed, people that God would look at
and he did not smile from their spirit.
I could not smile from their spirit either.
I did not understand these people. I was very lonely.
In my life in this world new to me
there was only God, myself, and to
learn of this world.
I would lay in the darkness at night, and think of all these things.
There were helpless young people.
They were not surviving here.
People of my age that were being
bitten by the biting ones.
I became a leader for them by who I was.
Because I did not bite them, but gave to them.
Because I did not spit on them, but held them.
Because I did not throw rocks at
them.
Because my name was Mark.
The biting ones saw me as the leader of the people they called
trash
The biting ones wanted no leader of the trash...
they pressed their leader against
me
the leader confronted me on the battleground
told me this was their territory
told me to get off it, told me I was trash, told me I was ready
to die
The biting ones gathered around in
a hungry circle
this was what made them most happy, and I was dinner
Almighty hatred around me
Thier leader came at me
I stood like a rock
He fell backward
so simply, it was over
Now they wanted me with them; the biting people used seductive
words.
"you are not a loser", "you are too good for the trash"
"be with us, you can be a chosen
one"
"you do not belong with them"
I would not go with them. I stayed with my people.
I was a lion; I
could not be a hyena.
One of these trampled people fell
in love with me
She was very smartest of the class...
she saw something in me, she saw my name.
But the world had not been kind to her
She mistook my love-for-all as love
for her.
This was too much for the biting people not to open thier mouths
The biting people told me I was too good for her
The biting people told me she was trash
The biting people told me I should
be mean to her
She asked me if I loved her, and I told her I did. I loved
everyone.
But when she saw that I gave my love to all, she could not understand.
She asked that I give my love only
to her, and I did not understand.
Why would she want it that way. I could not give her that.
I did not
understand her questions of me.
I could not give my love only to one
person. I could not say YES to her in that way.
I had not been aware of what she wanted from me.
I hurt her, because I could not see
and did not understand what she was
feeling.
I promised I would never make this mistake again. I would
watch for
this. This soul promise would
later tear me aprt with questioning, in a
different situation, in the future that was in store for me.
For other reasons, I moved to another school and never saw her
again.
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