Bedtime Story (1)
donna wrote:
> I miss your bedtime stories......lots.....
>
oh really... welp, i will have to tell you another one sometimes
then...
lesseee....
la...
once there was a fair maiden named donna of aspartame...
she was a milk maid and milked cows for her papa in their little hamlet
in the beautiful rolling hills of pepperland...
one morning, after her chores were done, she kissed her papa goodbye
and went to pick flowers in her favorite little meadow down by the stream
she greeted her ponies as she left... "hello ponies, I'm off to pick
pansies, down by the loveliest little brook in pepperland!"
her ponies snorted back and did pony things.
several miles away, a drama was unfolding. a dashing young handsome,
scoundrel, mark of salt, esquire, was being pursued by 41 even
more villinous theives. apparently mark had taken it upon himself
to liberate the rich of their excesses and give it to the poor.
himself of course first of all, after all, he needed a new pair of
clogs. but an esquire lives by his wits and needs little to get by on,
only the generousity of the people who know him for everyone looks after
everyone else and greet them by name. he would give all the rest away....
too much money can only lead to vice.
donna's ponies could feel this oncoming trampeling from the vibration in
the ground, and they wondered, what could it be?
donna tho was completely happy and oblivious in her little meadow
down by the stream. she had picked a big bouquet of flowers for
her papa....
---stay tuned for part 2---------
Bedtime Story (2)
On Wed, 30 May 2001, donna wrote:
> Donna smiles a BIG smile:) Thanks:)
>
---part duex 2------------------
through the thicket leap mark on his big big white stallion
into the meadow where donna held a lovely bouquet of flowers
the sudden surprise on his face, like scaring a rabbit...
what do we have here, a lass... oh my... the villians
who chase me would surely ravish her if I left her here...
now... I can't have that! I should be the one if anyone
to ravish this precious prize holding these pansies...!
so mark of salt swept donna of aspartame, pansies and all,
up into his arm and onto the back of his horse and sped away
"you villinous wrech!" proclimed the fair maiden
"put me down at once sir or I shall have your head for this and
have you trown into the dungeon!" as she beat upon his back
but he would have none of it... and several miles into the
woods he found a hill to hide behind, which he did with his
horse and his woman... keeping a hand upon the mouth of both
as the 41 theives road by... after they were gone...
"what is the meaning of this sir!" she said irate
"you see those 41 theives that road by? can you imagine what
would of
happened to you if I had left you behind?"
"certainly nothing worse than what has happened to me today by
your
hand!" she proclaimed
"very well" said he "i will leave you here then to carry on your
business... good day, madam!"
"you certainly will not! you will not leave me in this forest
miles
away from home, what call you for a gentleman! surely the lowest
of
theives amongst you has some honor"
he looked at her coyly "very well"... "i shall ride you back to
your
home, seems only fair, since by my hand i have abducted such a
spunky
lass from her environs"... "however..." "there shall be no
more back beating!"
'very well' she said...
of together they road at a trot upon his magnificent white stallion
---part 3? what happens next?---------
Bedtime Story (3)
--part 3------------
well kids, as you guessed it, the maiden fell in love with the
hero...
on the ride home... of course you knew that, this is a fairy taile..
maybe she liked the excitement, maybe the adventure, maybe the
bouncing
up and down on a big white horse holding onto a new man, who knows....
anywho, back at the farm <time distortion effect>
the maiden:
"oh mr. man, where will you go now? surely those villians will
find you
and do you great harm"
"well, i don't know, i will manage, i have connections, and my
trusty
horse oliver here... i can depend on him!"
"no, no you musten, i will hide you upstairs in my bedroom, they
will
never find you there!"
*mr. man's eyebrows raise like groucho marx* ;-)
later that night... <time swirly distortion effect>
"so, mr. man, do you need those pants???"
<time distortion effect, fast forward to tomarrow morning, where
we see
the two young lovers smiling in an embrace naked in the bed as
the sun
comes up through the window>
Meanwhile, far away, the evil Earle of Soy Sauce pounds er his
fist
upon the table, cattering the tupperware... "Dammit, how could
you
let that fool get away!" he screams...
Appologetic, and with a scurrying wimpiness only found in those
middleclass yuppies trying to become the high... the Earle's chief
flunky
and peon, the Aldrich of Sandwich stutters excuse after excuse
"but Sire,
you know, he's a slippery one, and our fastest horse can only do
10bt!"
"Dammit, man, can't we upgrade?" screams the Earle of Soy Sauce.
"Listen Sandwitch... if you don't catch that fool in one week
I will
turn your cowardly little ass over to Master JacknRabbit of the
Dungeon,
and you will know pain at their devices like you never have before!
Find
them!"
Aldrich of Sandwitch stomps out and screams at his minions...
but
something weighs heavily upon his mind... there's always been
soemthing
not quite right about his master... he can't quite put his finger
upon
it... something not quite right... even perhaps... feminine...
no...
*shakes his head*" "We leave now, and to the first man that find
him, a
prize of 50 megabytes!"
--part 4 next... --------
will the ponies meet the horse and fall in love?
will the sandwich find the lettuce and tomato he's searching for
to
complete him?
will our two lovers and true love triumph?
will JacknRabbit get their new Acme SafeSaneConsensual torture
device in
the post today?
what stew will papa have on tonight?
do they have cable in Pepperland? Will there be a new Garfield
series?
who is the mysterious masked man who shows up in episode 6?
Bedtime Story (4)
--part 4 -different mysteries revealed-------
<camera fades in... we find our two lovers softly and sweetly
kissing
each other in bed after having filled their tummy's with papa's
beef of stallion stew (oops sorry, was that your horse?) >
the maiden:
"oh, how i do so love your sweet kisses... i could live forever
on
nothing but your kisses... and how i enjoy so your bedtime stories...
tell me a bedtime store... please please...!"
mr. man: "well, ok... once upon a time, in a far far away land,
there
was this girl donna the NT server admin, and she lived in this
dark
brooding gray land called Chattarooga Slate.... scary huh"
"Every day she would dream of her true love who was so far away,
this
strange magical wizard called Mark who build strange devices and
brewed
concotions of root and hack... and just like you and me, she so
did
love his kisses, and his bedtime stoires".
"They were so close, they could communicate over long distances
without
even speaking, such was the magic of their day. Anyway... she
begged him
to tell her a bedtime story, for she was sad and lonely, and this
is what
he said....:"
"Once there a young fair maiden called Donna of Aspartame, who
met a
handsome man Mark of Salt, and...."
the maiden: "Hey, wait a minute, that's us! You're telling me
a story
about us!"
"Well, yes, that's right... just like in our reality I tell stories
of
them, so too do they tell stories of us..."
maiden: "wow! thats neat! but that's not real, they don't really
exist,
you're just making that up... they don't really exist"...
"well, their world exists in your mind, doesn't it? you close
your eyes
and listen to me and you can feel and hear and see them can't you...
so
they exist don't they?"
maiden: "well, yes, I suppose... but its not the same is it? its
just a
fairy tale isn't it? there is no donna the admin, or mark the
wizard, or
ways you can communicate far without speaking, its all just a fairy
tale
you made up... a dream to make me happy... and forget all those
bad men
are chasing us and there is no Earle of Soy Sauce and that I have
indigestion now from papa's stew (yuk, what was in it tonight anyhow?)"
"Yes, perhaps, perhaps you are right... "
"Well little one, does it matter, lets just kiss some more :-)"
maiden: "Ok, you know I like your sweet kisses..."
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